this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
