god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
