he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
