I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
