I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
