Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
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