Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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