I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
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