If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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