Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Randomize
