let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
