Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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