...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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