i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
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