so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize
