I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
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