I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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