jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
