No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Randomize