Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Randomize
