Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Randomize
