It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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