i don't like sucking hair
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I can't put those talents on a resume
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
Come on in and take your pants off
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