there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
You need a sexual gate keeper
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Randomize
