Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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