i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Randomize
