Quick, to the slutcave!
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
I think i got beer on your cat.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
