Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
Randomize
