Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
I feel like death gave me a hand job
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Randomize
