In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
