the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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