**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
No subtext here. People are naked.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Randomize
