so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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