This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Randomize
