I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
