Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
