I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Randomize
