My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
I'm sobbing to NWA
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
Randomize
