all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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