I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
