Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
