Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
