fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
