therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
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