You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Randomize
