she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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