you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
