She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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