Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Randomize
