so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Randomize
