Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
