Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
