saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
