She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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