Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
